A Realization of Happiness

A friend asked me the other day, “How do you know if you are really happy, or just afraid of being unhappy?” At first I laughed, but the question stayed with me and led to some interesting reflection.

The core values that the United States of America proposes to offer her citizens are “Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness”. This concept came to mind as I considered my friend's question. We are in constant pursuit of happiness, or avoiding being unhappy. And often that happiness seems to hinge on something that we are pursuing; more income, recognition for our work, the love of our beloved, a well-behaved child, more free time, etc. Even while we recognize it as illogical, who among us does not have the thought that once we meet our soul mate, or buy our dream home, we will then feel fulfilled?

However, the more that happiness hinges on something else than what is present here and now, then happiness is inherently outside of you, beyond you. In other words, spoken by Reverend Michael Beckwith “the more that you pursue happiness, the more it will run away from you.” Rather than pursue happiness, he says, we must have a realization of happiness, here and now.

Sound difficult? This is completely within your capacity, if you want to try the following exercise, which you can repeat as often as you need, in order to practice bringing yourself, moment to moment into the realization of happiness. Take a moment to be still, close your eyes and go inward. Focus a moment on the sensation of your own heartbeat and the awareness of your breathing, your awareness that you are alive here and now.

Call into mind a few things that you are grateful for in your life here and now. You could start with your own body, and the fact that you are breathing effortlessly, and then expand outwards to loved ones, home, whatever it may be that you are grateful for. Notice what this sensation of gratitude feels like in your body, especially in your heart. Now try to expand that to fill your whole body. Take a few deep breaths, making a cellular memory of gratitude and happiness.

Happiness is found in moments, such as this one you just experienced. And life is lived from one moment to the next. So how can we realize happiness if we are not able to be in the present moment of our lives? Each day has the potential to hold infinite moments of unexpected pockets of joy and appreciation, and it is my goal to live inside them. Hope to see you there!

Being The Source

In my short visit to the US a few weeks ago, there were particular aspects of the culture that show up as a great contrast to the lifestyle that I live outside of the reaches of the “modern world”. One thing that struck me particularly is the amount of distractions that we are constantly bombarded with and thus become desensitized to. I was floored by this as I sat in a restaurant, keeping company with other human beings who were engrossed in looking things up on their iphones. I looked around me only to realize that everyone at the surrounding tables also had their iphones and Blackberries out on the table, and a large percentage of them were more engaged with checking their phones than the personal interactions with the live audience that they had in front of them. With this technology, we have access to the virtual world at our fingertips, and can seek the answer to most of our questions yet we we have no access to the most important answers because we have to be quiet enough to listen to our own questions.

During the last several months, I have had the experience of living removed from the stimulus of the modern world, and have found that perhaps for the first time in my life I am understanding what it is like to be present with myself and focus on what is happening in my life here and now.. I can hear my own questions, and the thoughts and emotions that arise are in my face, to be felt and processed with nothing to distract me from experiencing them. Initially this is, in a word, intense. However over time I have realized that the rewards of being present, without distractions, are mighty. I am beginning to hear the answers to the questions that I wasn't aware that I was asking. I feel more grounded than I could have ever imagined, more clear minded and certainly more comfortable with myself than ever before. I have the space to be present this way with others and the joy of engaging deeply with others brings profound levels of connection. With each conversation I find that people are hungering for this depth of connection just as I had been and marvel in the sensation of being “seen” and “heard” perhaps for the first time in a long time.. I have observed in my own experience and with many other people how the process of transformation begins with the ability to be with what is.

The contrast to this was striking in my re-immersion into American multi-tasking culture. It highlights for me the profound depth of connection that has been lost in our society, not just in our relationships with one another but also within ourselves, and our awareness of our own strength and inner guidance.
We are equipped and ready to seek answers to all of our potential questions outside of ourselves, further distancing us from our own resources. Mistrust, alienation, and loneliness, boredom, anxiety, the inability to stay focused and centered all arise from the disconnect from our own grounded alignment with our inner guidance.
Am I suggesting that Americans rise up, throw their Blackberries out the window of their SUVs and move to the Amazon? Some of them perhaps. But of course there is a middle ground in which technology supports us in our deeper connection to ourselves and to others. However in order to find that middle ground, you might have to step away from your channels of distraction and turn to the source within. Be forewarned that the next time that there is a silence, your fingers may start itching to reach for your phone, but if you can hold out off for a few moments and be with yourself, something new and exciting will arise. Try it yourself, and let me know what happens.